Bronson Xerri has been in dark places before so he knows what he’s got to do to restore faith in himself, his coach Cameron Ciraldo and his Bulldogs teammates.
The 25-year-old readily confessed his recent stoush with Ciraldo over his form and attitude was “the kick up the arse I needed”.
And with skipper Stephen Crichton out injured, Xerri was just what the Bulldogs needed at left centre at Accor Stadium on Thursday night as they brought Penrith's unbeaten run to a screeching halt.
Xerri had 13 runs for 158 metres, one line break, a try assist and four tackle busts in the 32-16 triumph.
After being part of the 15-14 win over the Dragons in Las Vegas in Round 1, Xerri had been overlooked by Ciraldo since as rumours swirled the powerfully-built centre wanted out of Belmore.
Sitili Tupouniua Try
"It's been tough. But as long as the boys within the four walls, and the staff, they all know my intentions here,” Xerri said.
"Whatever was reported was out of my control. As long as the team and all the boys knew my intentions with everything.
"I'm just going to come every day into training and do the best I can - just waiting for the call-up like tonight."
His past includes the four-year ban for taking performance enhancing drugs in 2019, after scoring 13 tries in 22 games for Cronulla in his debut season.
From the field: Matt Burton
His present had him on the outer with Canterbury’s coaching staff, knowing action was required.
“I went home and asked some hard questions about myself and came back,” Xerri said.
"I have a really good support system... my family have been through something with me much worse than this. I know how to handle these things.
“I just got a bit comfortable in myself... wasn't really giving it my all at training. So it was that kick up the arse I needed.
"I'm a true believer in that everything happens for a reason.
"Me and Ciro (Ciraldo) had some tough conversations but I've got nothing but love and respect for Ciro.”
That circle includes his teammates, especially Crichton.
"He's been very supportive. All the boys have been by my side and messaging me and seeing how I am with my mental health, which is awesome - that's what you want from your teammates," he said.
"Critta has always been good to me - to learn off the best is what I need.”
Connor Tracey right from the textbook
After two games in NSW Cup, Xerri said he was nervous about returning to the NRL arena. But after his first few touches with the ball, the nerves subsided.
"It was good. It's a fair result - I was blessed to get the opportunity and I just wanted to take it with both hands,” Xerri said.
“I've been out three weeks, so to come back and especially to verse Penrith, was going to be a big game for myself.
"I was so proud of the boys and happy to get that win.
"Like I said it was the kick up the arse I needed. When it's all gone you don't realise what you've got.
"When I was playing NSW Cup I was like 'This is not where I belong, this is not where I want to be'.
"I came into training and just put my best foot forward.”
From the desk: Connor Tracey
Ciraldo was full of praise not just for Xerri’s undoubted attacking abilities.
“The most pleasing thing, which no-one would have seen, was how well he was communicating out there,” Ciraldo said.
The players in there (dressing room) were already talking about that.
“People in the stands might not see that or value that as much as we do. It’s awesome he’s brought that into his game.”
